Monday, May 9, 2011

patience, love, acceptance

three words. three actions. three things that will get one far in life. three things that i have very little of...

today was day one of cst's at school and since i am a senior i did not have to take the test. this was a blessing and a curse. the senior class of 2011 had to sit in the auditorium for two hours doing nothing then we spent another three hours waiting in lines to get "cleared" for graduation. for those five very looong hours, my patience was tested beyond belief! trying to deal with the idiotic administration, the crazy people, and little things here and there was unbelievably difficult. not being able to eat, sleep, relax all day...not good...

for five hours i was with one of my best friends. this best friend is a guy and we have a very...interesting relationship. we have known each other since freshman year and for the longest time i thought he was a little..well...not straight ( the guy sang high school musical and hannah montana in the middle of class! ) earlier this year i received an anonymous valentine, turns out it was from this friend and i thought it was just him being a good friend...noooo...i find out from another source that he has liked me since freshman year...ever since valentine's day, things have been...different. he began acting less like the crazy, immature him, he became, quiet, and sad...and things between us became very awkward on my side. whenever i talked to him he would answer five seconds after i asked the question and during those extra five seconds he would stand there and just stare at me...and as much as i hate to say it, he has become some what of a nuisance to me...i am very irritated with the fact that my best friend likes me, that's NOT right! and i have a hard time just loving him now...before no problem i loved him so much but as a brother, now, i am just frustrated with him! the way he just doesn't give a care about anything, the way he just sits and stares, EVERYTHING...i hate not being able to love...

we are not all given the same amount of decencies...one of the greatest things i have learned from reading The Great Gatsby. this is a very difficult concept for me to grasp. trying to remember that not everyone things the same way nor do they all have the same morals is something that i have been trying to learn. by understanding this concept, i think it would be easier to accept others for who they are and whatever their circumstances may be. this is something that i wish i had remembered today, being around certain people i just think to myself, WHAT THE HECK?! but they do not have the same mind as me, they were not brought up like me, they are not me!

without patience we cannot develop acceptance, and without acceptance, we cannot love.

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